


Don't You Let Me Go Tonight

by cuteandtwisted



Series: In Every Universe [15]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 3 times + 1, Alternate Universe - Meant To Be, Even won't give up, Fluff and Humor, Isak keeps talking about the universe, Isak wants a Midnight Kiss, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, Strangers to Lovers, the chillest Uber driver ever, they're flirting hardcore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 05:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13241799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuteandtwisted/pseuds/cuteandtwisted
Summary: “Oh and for the record, if I were you I would follow my example,” Jonas adds.“Huh?” Isak frowns.“That guy with the crazy blonde hair who's been looking at you for the past ten minutes over there,” Jonas gestures with his chin to the guy Isak spent a good five minutes staring at — yes, staring — before Jonas found him another beer. “He won’t wait all night.”OR: 3 times Isak walks away from a gorgeous blue eyed stranger named Even on New Year's Eve and one time he doesn't.aka: Isak is stuck in an Uber during the countdown for the New Year.





	Don't You Let Me Go Tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [solosilenzio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solosilenzio/gifts).



> HAPPY NEW YEAR lovely people <3333  
> lol okay so this is inspired by MY New Year's Eve (almost spent in a cab but we made it at exactly 11:59!!!) and by a script reading i went to last week.  
> this was supposed to be a short drabble. but oh well. i was also hoping to post this on the 1st but i f ailed.  
> just pretend that UberPool exists in Oslo <3 (idk if it is)
> 
> for [Giusy](https://twitter.com/lovelesstear) <3

Isak is undeniably high in his white shirt, black trousers, and skinny black tie. Undeniably because his head hurts from thinking about how big the universe actually is, from trying to answer all the questions he typically keeps tucked away in the corner of his mind. He could have tried arguing the opposite an hour ago. But Jonas is about to walk away because all of Isak’s universe talk is starting to ‘kill his buzz’.

“Listen Isak. I’m just trying to score here,” Jonas sighs. “We can talk about parallel universes tomorrow. You know. When it’s not New Year’s Eve.”

“But like. Isn’t it crazy how little control we have over our lives?” Isak continues, his tie feeling a bit too tight around his neck as he struggles to loosen it without spilling his beer. “Like. Think about this stupid party for example. What if you had never run into that girl Olivia or whatever and she never invited us last minute? Like what if we had ended up at the other party instead tonight?”

“Isak, we’re still going to that other party later. We’re party hopping remember?” Jonas sighs again, this time bringing his palm to his face. “For real, bro. We can literally do this any other time. That girl with the short brown hair won’t keep waiting for me by the stairs forever.”  

Isak lets his free hand fall on Jonas’ shoulder. He’s wearing a white shirt, too but hasn’t bothered with a tie or with ironing his shirt for that matter. Isak recalls very vividly when Jonas used to make an effort for these types of parties -- not because he actually spent most of his time staring at him and wondering what could have been, nope -- and most times involved a certain Eva, not faceless brunettes.

Isak parks his rogue thoughts at the back of his head, amazed by his own ability to compartmentalize after mixing weed and beer, and goes back to his point.  

“But that’s my point exactly! Like what if we had never made this first stop before the other party? You would have never met short brown haired girl who’s waiting for you by the stairs right now. Isn’t it crazy?” Isak laughs then almost hits someone in the face with his beer. _Shit._

“You’re drunk and it’s not even 22:00,” Jonas laughs, nodding politely to whoever has just knocked into them and apologizing on his best friend’s behalf. “Now _that’s_ crazy.”

“Shut up. I’m serious,” Isak groans. “You just don’t get it. It’s like some stranger kind of got to decide whether you meet this girl tonight or not. Why aren’t you freaked out?”  

“A stranger? You mean like God?” Jonas snorts. “I recall specifically choosing to come to this party and dragging you with me, Iss.”

“God? Shut up,” Isak groans again, this time putting his beer down because he feels like he’s about to spill it everywhere. “I mean, besides you choosing to come, other things came in to play. Like whoever this party is hosted by. Or whoever invited you, you know. That sort of thing. If one small thing had changed you wouldn’t be here and you wouldn’t have met her at all. Isn’t it crazy?”

“Isak. Relax,” Jonas laughs again, this time bringing a hand to pat Isak on the back. “I’m just trying to go down on her. Not fucking marry her.”

“But what if she’s the one?” Isak insists and feels his cheeks heat up. He doesn’t sound this sappy and lame usually. Isak doesn’t typically talk about ‘the one’ or even think about it. He’s kind of blushing right now.

“I doubt short brown haired girl waiting for me by the stairs is _the one,_ Iss,” Jonas replies with no hint of judgement, his eyes scanning Isak’s face and offering him that silent consoling look he’s grown so attached to. “And if she is, I’m about to find out,” he adds with a wink.  

Isak breathes through his nose. He wants to add that if she’s the one and they had ended up opting for another party, Jonas would have missed out on the love of his life. But it’s probably going to make him sound like a lunatic at this point. Or even worse, Jonas might throw him in a cab because he’ll think he’s too intoxicated already.

“Whatever. You don’t get it,” Isak shakes his head and brings his beer to his mouth again, taking several gulps and closing his eyes at the bitter taste.

“I do though,” Jonas shrugs. “I’m just choosing to focus on the positive side of your gibberish.”

“Huh?” Isak cocks one eyebrow, his back hitting the wall as he registers some lame Pop song playing over the speakers.

“Instead of stressing over people I missed out on or whatever, I choose to focus on people who are in front of me right now. People the universe -- as you put it -- put in front of me right now. Cause I don’t wanna take the universe’s hard work for granted, that type of thing.”

Isak pauses and looks away for a second to let Jonas’ words sink in. He wants to argue further, put his beer down, fold up his sleeves, and come up with something smart to say. But he kind of forgets what his point was. Eventually, he sighs and goes back to his beer, much to Jonas’ amusement.

“Can I go throw my potential soulmate against the wall and make out with her now?” Jonas asks with a smile and Isak hates him but he smiles all the same.

“I give you a serious talk about parallel universe theory and you just use it to justify your dick slipping into anyone you meet,” Isak huffs. “Amazing.”

Jonas barks out a laugh and Isak joins him because he’s his best friend in the world and because there’s no one else he can talk to about dicks without having them cringe, really.

“Dicks should be allowed to slip from time to time. Let your dick slip, Isak. It’s fine! New year, new you!” Jonas taps him on the back again and Isak realizes they’re almost hugging.

“You’re the worst,” he groans with a stupid smile before shoving him in the shoulder.  

“Love you too, man,” Jonas laughs then leaves the corner they’ve been huddled up in for the past ten minutes. “Oh and for the record, if I were you I would follow my example.”

“Huh?” Isak inquires with another shot up eyebrow.

“That guy with the unbuttoned shirt and crazy hair over there,” Jonas gestures with his chin to the guy Isak spent a good five minutes staring at -- yes, STARING -- before Jonas found him another beer. “I think you should let your dick slip in his direction. He won’t wait all night.”

And with that, Jonas walks away with a wink and a stupid smile, both arms held up as he carries two red cups -- one for him and one for the short brown haired girl probably.

Isak kind of just melts against the wall before turning around to slam his head against it. He had no idea Jonas noticed. _Fuck._ Perhaps, pre-gaming for four hours before the actual party wasn’t the brightest idea as Isak all but drooled all over himself when he knocked into the tall blond with perfect hair as soon as they made their way through the door. _Great._

Isak groans to himself with his forehead pressed against the wall. He’s being a bit dramatic given that he’s already had the talk with Jonas who very well knows he’s into guys. But they’ve never talked about actual guys and Isak has never shown interest in anyone in front of him. Perhaps, it’s residuals of his internalized homophobia. Who knows. Isak just preferred for his private life to remain private, even when nothing much is going on really. At least before telling Jonas, he could go to parties and kiss a pair of random soft lips and pretend they belonged to a boy.

_Maybe he’s right. I shouldn’t take the universe for granted. And this boy is looking at me, too. Maybe. Maybe._

.

Isak kind of tries, except not really. His eyes lock with the gorgeous stranger’s and he thinks he can will his legs to move in his direction, maybe. But as soon as he tries to come up with something to say in his head in anticipation, he freezes on the spot.

_I’m just going to embarrass myself,_ Isak concludes with a sigh. He’s never talked to boys. He doesn’t know _how to_ talk to boys. He just turns into this anxious and nervous mess who averts his gaze because he’s too scared of rejection and judgement. Isak doesn’t even have enough alcohol in his system to do this. He’s just a bit high from the weed at the pregame. And if anything, it’s just enhancing his anxiousness.

The thing is, however, he promised Eskild he would try tonight. _“2018. Year of the Dick,”_ says the little card his roommate got him after all. And Isak was so drunk when he opened it that he just barked out a laugh and hugged him instead of throwing the usual tantrum.

And Isak wants to believe it. He really does. _2018\. Year of the Dick._ He even spent an obscene amount of time getting ready for these stupid parties tonight. He looked up stuff online just in case he ended up actually scoring and going home with some guy. He packed condoms and even lube. _“Uhm, don’t get too excited,”_ Eskild snorted when he looked through his things. _“Blowjobs first, baby gay.”_

_“Fuck off, Eskild!”_

Isak is ready. Or at least he was.

_Fuck. I’m not._

Isak stops to look at the stranger for a few more seconds, kind of like a goodbye to what they could have been. Because Jonas is definitely right. He’s taking the universe’s hard work for granted by walking away and not giving this stranger a second chance when he looks so very interested, _maybe,_ his blue eyes bearing an intensity that sends shivers down Isak’s spine. He’s sure he’s never been looked at like that before, with hunger, almost. Isak whose mouth is watering, his hands practically aching to touch by his sides. He can almost imagine running his fingers over the stranger’s collarbones.

Isak sighs then turns around. He settles on a couch between Vilde and Magnus and does his best to avoid the stranger’s stare for the remainder of their stay at this random party.

On their way out to the next one, Isak notices a girl hanging off the stranger’s arm now. And she’s beautiful, blonde, tall, equally gorgeous.

_Whatever._

It’s a good thing Isak walked away.

.

They all share an Uber and Isak wonders how they could fit everyone in the car. They probably left someone behind and he secretly hopes it’s Magnus. Or not so secretly, because Magnus goes, “Ouch! What the hell, bro?” two minutes into their ride. Isak has this habit of saying his thoughts out loud when he’s both high and drunk sometimes. Especially when they’re about Magnus.

They get to the second place and Isak groans as he steps out of the Uber and realizes that he left his tie behind. He can’t even tell when he took it off.

“Whatever, you look more handsome like this,” Eva laughs into his ear as she grabs his chin in one of her hands. “You look so cute. Did I ever tell you how cute you are?”

Isak is about to shove her and roll his eyes when Jonas grabs her and saves the day, as always.

“You’re drunk,” he chuckles and throws an arm around her waist to support her because her legs are kind of giving out right now.

Isak watches and feels his chest deflate a bit. He knows Jonas and Eva are broken up, but he can’t help but envy their bond. Jonas still takes care of Eva whenever he suspects she’s had too much to drink and he’s seen Eva return the favor more than once. And Isak kind of wants that. That tenderness. Someone to love him and care for him no matter what. Isak isn’t even sure he’s ever felt love and he wants to. So desperately.

“Bro, is that a condom in your pocket?!” Magnus shrieks behind him and Isak is quick to shove it deeper into his pants. _Fuck._

“Yeah, mind your own business,” Isak groans.

“Isak is here to score. Holy shit!” Magnus continues. “When’s the last time you hooked up with a girl, bro? What happened to you? You used to get all the chicks.”

Isak rolls his eyes and speeds ahead to get to the door. He has no time for Magnus’ bullshit tonight.

The party is packed, perhaps even more than the two previous ones. And it doesn’t take long for Isak to get properly smashed, accepting every drink that handed to him. He’s sure he might lose more than just his tie at this party.

The rest is a bit of a haze. Isak doesn’t remember much. Just flashes, each one brighter and more shimmery than the one before.

“You okay?” a tall mysterious stranger with a chiseled jaw asks him at some point, a glass of water in each hand.

Isak looks up and squints, as if he’s looking into the sun, and maybe he is. His lips are parted again. His tongue is stuck again. It’s that guy from the other party. The guy with the unbuttoned shirt and the crazy hair.

“Fuck,” Isak mutters and the stranger laughs and it’s so glorious he has to resist the urge to just _touch._

“Even,” the boy replies with a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, uh. I meant. My name’s not ‘fuck’. I’m Isak,” Isak stammers, both hands behind his back as he struggles to stay put against the wall.

“I know,” Even smiles again, tilting his head to the side and handing Isak a glass of water.

“You know my name’s Isak?” he frowns a bit and wonders why he’s not as nervous as before. He can almost hear himself slurring his words, however.

“No. I know your name is not ‘fuck’,” Even laughs. “Would be hot though. Everyone in the world would be screaming your name is bed.”

Isak flushes at that as his mind immediately flashes to images of himself pinned under this tall gorgeous creature and panting the word ‘fuck’ over and over again.

“Fuck,” Isak mutters again, his fingers tightening around his glass of water and his jaw tightening.

“You okay, there?” Even chuckles as he brings his glass to his lips to take a sip. “Did your mind wander off somewhere interesting?”

Isak watches him as he gulps down the water, or what he assumes is water, and he feels himself getting more intoxicated by the second.

“Enjoying the view?” Even asks again, reminding him that he hasn’t said anything constructive in a while.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Isak lets out with a laugh because _damn._ He doesn’t think he’s been this turned on in a while.

“2018 Resolution,” Even laughs with him, letting his hand fall beside Isak’s, nearly touching.

“Hm?”

“Be more forward,” Even smiles and lets his pinky finger graze the back of Isak’s hand. It’s the smallest touch, but it’s enough to send him into a frenzy. _Jesus._ “How am I doing so far?” Even adds.

“It’s not 2018 yet,” Isak replies weakly then stares without shame. He has no idea how this guy made it to this party or why he’s talking to him, but he’s feeling larger than life so he leans even closer and offers him his cheesiest grin. “Also I’m so fucking drunk.”

“It’s not even 23:00,” Even laughs and Isak watches his eyes disappear behind their lids, crinkling, as if they have a life of their own.

_He smiles with his eyes,_ Isak thinks.

“Our pregame started at like 17:00,” Isak explains then watches him light up with laughter again. It’s sweet. It’s not insulting or annoying like when Magnus laughs at him. It’s a sweet sound and a sweet sight. It reminds Isak of indian summers and warm blankets while it snows outside. It makes him want to unbutton his shirt and throw away his tie, too. Except he’s already lost his stupid tie.

“I bet the room is spinning right now,” Even says beside him and Isak finds himself leaning against his shoulder and reveling from the mere touch of his pinky. It’s not a conscious effort, really. He’s just really drunk right now and this boy smells nice.

“I thought it was just me,” Isak shrugs then shrinks against his side. He thinks about how he wouldn’t have met this guy if they had ended up at another party, about how they wouldn’t be standing so close right now. And Jonas’ words are still playing in his mind. _‘I choose to focus on the people the universe put in front of me right now. Don’t wanna take it for granted.’_

“Wanna sit down?” Even asks and Isak isn’t sure, really. He doesn’t want to break the magic just yet. He doesn’t want to move because he’s afraid his insecurities might start soaring in his brain again.

“Can we just stay like this instead?” Isak asks with a small voice and feels Even laugh beside him.

“Only if you promise to finish your water.”

“How do I know you didn’t slip me something in there?” Isak blurts out then immediately regrets his decision. The boy doesn’t seem to mind his question though.

“I know it doesn’t mean shit but I wouldn’t do that,” Even replies, lacing his fingers with Isak’s and almost making him yelp.

“I don’t know you,” Isak adds, welcoming the warmth of Even’s fingers against his own and digging into his knuckles because he’s feeling dizzy.

“But you could get to know me,” Even smiles again and this time Isak just has to roll his eyes.

“You have no game. For real,” Isak laughs then looks up into his eyes. “You might wanna change your 2018 resolution to working on your game.”

“Excuse me?” Even scoffs. “What? How dare you mock my sacred resolutions?”

“Sorry, dude. Just trying to be honest here,” Isak chuckles.

“Oh, is that one of _your_ new year resolutions?” Even’s eyes shine with something Isak can’t seem to quite place. He almost looks happy. Happy to be here, having this stupid conversation with Isak of all people.

“No,” Isak smiles shyly because he can feel butterflies in his stomach. “2018 is the year of the Dick.”

Even laughs so hard that he actually lets go of Isak’s hand to clutch his stomach. Isak almost pouts at the loss of contact. _I’m so drunk._

“The year of the dick?” Even repeats. “In what way?”

“What do you mean in what way?” Isak narrows his eyes and lets his back hit the wall again. “How many ways can you make your year about dick, really? I’m not gonna go around drawing them.”

“Yeah but you can watch them from afar, suck on them, stroke them, insert them in places, have them inserted in places. You know, that type of thing,” Even replies with a toothy smile and Isak has to physically hold onto the small table next to them in order not to fall.

_Jesus._

“You okay?” Even laughs.

“Fuck, dude. You weren’t fucking around with the whole ‘being forward’ business,” Isak breathes and feels himself break into laughter, too.

“I’m very serious about my new year resolutions,” Even puffs out his chest and grins. “I hope you are, too. About your dick business, you know,” he adds with a wink.

Isak shoves him and laughs. It feels so nice talking about dick with a perfect stranger who smells like aftershave and honey and sunlight.   

“You were at the other party, right?” Isak eventually asks because he wants to make sure he’s not imagining things.

“I’m flattered you noticed,” Even tilts his head again, leaning on his shoulder against the wall now, his entire body facing Isak’s.

“Wasn’t very hard to,” Isak almost whispers, turning his body to mirror Even’s. If he stood up a bit more straight, he could look almost as tall as him. But he likes this, right now. Looking up at him, like he would at the sun.  

“Hm. Was that a compliment?” Even grins and gets a little bit closer.

“Maybe. Kind of. Not sure,” Isak smiles then shrugs. He feels a little bit giddy because yes, they’re flirting. And it feels great.

Even laughs then finishes his drink and puts his glass down. Isak watches with heavy eyelids. _His hands._ Even’s hands were so big, his fingers long and thin and perfect. Isak almost wonders how they would feel in-

“Penny for your thoughts?” Even smiles, probably noticing Isak staring at his digits.

“Can you hold my hand again?” Isak blurts out then feels his face flush when he looks up and sees Even smiling with his eyes again.

“I can hold other things, too,” he says as he slowly laces their fingers and beams, as if he’s enjoying making Isak melt against the wall at this some stranger’s party. “If you want.”

“Other things?” Isak blinks with a blush high up his cheeks.

“You know. You said it’s the year of the dick,” Even adds very matter-of-factly with a slight shrug, then immediately laughs when he sees Isak choke on nothing but air. “I could hold your dick, if you want.”

“God,” Isak coughs once or twice, secretly smiling to himself when Even’s other hand finds his shoulder. “You’re incredible. You know that?”

“Been told a few times.”

“Yeah, like we’ve been talking for what, five minutes? And you’ve already asked to touch my dick at least three times,” Isak laughs.

“Yeah well. I already told you-”

“Yeah, yeah. New Year’s resolution,” Isak rolls his eyes then lets himself be pulled closer, his eyes closing on their own accord when Even’s hand reaches his neck, almost teasing the hair at the nape there. _Fuck._

Isak is about to say something stupid like ‘I want to go home with you’ when Magnus comes out of nowhere and snaps him back to reality. It feels like a slap, really. Like a very cold and harsh wake up call shrinking up his insides and making him shudder at his circumstances. Isak remembers where he is and who he’s there with. He remembers that he’s still navigating the closet although he has one foot out with Jonas and Eskild knowing and he’s almost sure others can tell as well. But Isak is not ready. Not even close.

So with wide eyes and his heart drumming in his throat, he immediately lets go of Even’s hand and stands up straight, reclaiming his personal space with a wince.

“Hey man. I’m Magnus,” Magnus introduces himself with an extended hand and an over-eager smile, his eyes jumping back and forth between Isak and Even.

“Uh, Even,” the taller boy eventually accepts Magnus hand although he looks a bit surprised by Isak’s reaction. Perhaps, he had thought Isak was out and proud. _Shit._

“Even. You’re kinda hot, dude. What the fuck,” Magnus laughs and Isak kind of wants the floor to swallow him whole. “Are you here with people? You should hook Isak up with some hot chick tonight if you’re here with friends. He even brought condoms and stuff.”

Isak looks down and bites into his lower lip. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but it’s bordering on shame. He feels a bit crushed, a bit sad and disgusted with himself. He can’t fully look at Even but he’s guessing his eyes are a bit cold. He’s guessing that he’s judging him a little. And Isak feels ashamed and devastated because he didn’t want to be judged tonight. Because this was supposed to be _the night_ he actually embraces who is. ‘ _Year of the Dick.’_

_I ruined it._

Isak walks away.

.

It’s almost 23:11 and Isak is trying to get everyone to bounce to the following party because he promised Mahdi they would make it -- and because it has a nice rooftop they can watch the fireworks from. But Jonas is making out with some blonde by the giant plant near the window, Eva is kissing Vilde in the kitchen, Magnus just got his fourth rejection of the night, and this girl with short dark hair keeps following Isak into every room he steps into. Not to mention that tall and tender Even is smiling at someone else every time he spots his flawless hair across the room.

_Guess he’s being forward with other people. Whatever. I’m not special._

Isak just really needs to breathe. So he walks into one of the bedrooms, ignores the couple making out on the bed, and makes his way to the bathroom. He almost feels smug finding this one when everyone was in line for the one across the hall.

He pushes the door and stumbles to the bin by the sink. He then empties his pockets with a sigh. Condoms, packets of lube, everything. Gone. He’s shoving his keys back down when a deep and familiar voice startles him, making him jump.

“What are you doing?” Even asks with an amused tone while Isak struggles to even out his breathing.

“Holy shit! What are you doing here?” he yelps.

Even smiles and leaves the windowsill where he was sitting, a joint pressed between his long fingers.

“Taking a second to breathe,” Even replies. “You?”

“Uh, same.”

Isak feels himself flush again. They’re alone in this giant marble bathroom -- _who the hell has a windowsill in their bathroom?_ \-- and he can hear moans and soft whines coming from the bedroom. It’s quite the setting actually.

“I’m, uh, gonna go,” Isak stammers as his back hits the wall.

“Do you have to?” Even asks as he walks a bit closer, then takes a step back when he notices Isak flinching.

“I, uh, have another party to go to,” Isak replies and he’s sure his heart is about to leap outside his chest.

Even nods silently and goes back to his joint, taking one long drag before turning his head around to blow the smoke.

Isak is about to leave when Even speaks again. “I hook up with girls, too. You know,” he says calmly. “It’s chill.”

Isak isn’t sure why but his hands are in fists and there are tears in the corners of his eyes. He’s not sure what this guy means, but it’s not chill for him. Never has been, really.

“It’s not chill for me,” he mutters under his breath then lets himself lean against the door.

“You’re not into it?” Even asks, still smoking his joint, no hint of judging in his voice, his eyes soft and almost caring.

Isak doesn’t know how to say it so he just shakes his head, his hands still in fists by his sides.

“It’s okay,” Even says and his voice is so soft it’s almost like a whisper. He then brings his hand to Isak’s cheek and brushes his thumb against the skin there. It’s so soft, Isak almost feel like purring. “You don’t have to figure everything out tonight. Yeah?”

Isak feels like a child, but he nods nonetheless. It’s so comforting, he realizes, to be touched by such warm hands.

He closes his eyes and thinks about the universe again. About the odds of them ending up in this specific bathroom, at this specific party. Isak thinks about it.

“There’s not many people who know about me,” he blurts out and the words almost hurt in his  throat.

“I’ll keep your secret,” Even replies with kind eyes. “Promise.”

Isak isn’t sure why but he believes him. He’s not even sure he wants it to be a secret anymore. Isak isn’t sure of many things.

“Tell me a secret,” he asks instead because he feels too bare, too exposed. He’s never been this honest with a stranger before.

“A secret like what?” Even smiles, his thumb soft and tender on his cheekbone.

“Something you don’t usually tell strangers,” Isak replies, his own hands finding Even’s sides  and staying there. He’s almost holding him.

“I’m bipolar,” Even says then waits with blue and slightly scared eyes. He just waits.

Isak doesn’t reply. He just pulls him closer because he’s not sure what to do with this piece of information. He wants to tell him that his mother is mentally ill, but he winces at the thought of someone telling him that they have a gay cousin when he comes out to them.

“Is that chill?” Even asks with a small voice, still touching his face.

“It’s chill,” Isak replies with as much certainty as he can pour into his voice.

They smile at each other for a few moments, and it’s so sweet that Isak can feel the butterflies in  his stomach again. It’s just achingly sweet.

“There’s at least four other rooms in this house,” Isak mumbles, his toes curling in his shoes whenever Even strokes his skin.

“Uh. You just threw the condoms in the trash bin though,” says Even.

“No!” Isak groans, shoving him a little and blushing like a loser with a crush. “Not that! Shut up!”

“I’m joking,” Even laughs and it’s glorious, truly. Isak almost wants to take a picture. “No sex until the third date. I’m old fashioned like that.”

Isak shoves him again and wants to elaborate his point about there being four bedrooms and how each room probably has a bathroom, yet they both ended up in the same one at the exact same time. But their banter kind of gets interrupted by the girl seemingly having an orgasm in the bedroom whose vocabulary is somewhat limited to _‘fuck, fuck, fuck.’_

Even doesn’t seem be as phased as Isak is, though, still stroking his cheek, still looking into his eyes, still making him dizzy with his mere presence. _Shit._

It happens in a blink, really. But Even leans in and Isak holds onto his white shirt, whimpering almost because he never knew sounds of heterosexuals having sex could turn him on, yet here they are.

He expects a kiss and is only slightly disappointed to learn that Even wants to whisper something in his ear. _Why is he whispering? It’s only the two of us in this bathroom-_

“Hear that? She’s screaming your name,” Even whispers and his voice is deep and raspy and perfect, and Isak’s knees are about to give out.

“Fuck me,” he mutters without giving it much thought because his brain to mouth filter is no longer there.

“Let me at least buy you dinner first,” Even replies and Isak is so embarrassed that he just pushes him off of him to hide his face behind his hands. _Oh my god._

He’s thinking about what to say next when his phone starts ringing in his pocket, with Jonas’ name lighting up the screen. He fumbles with it at first but picks up about three seconds later.

“I have to go,” Isak tells Even as he shoves his phone back into his pocket. Jonas managed to gather everyone at the door and he’s the only one missing.

“Do you _have_ to?” Even asks, and it’s so forward yet so innocent. He’s not sure how he does it. "You could- You can come home with me," he adds and it's not suggestive the slightest bit. Isak isn't sure why but it sounds more like  _'let's go home and cuddle'_ and less like an actual invitation to  _fuck._

It makes him pause and think. He’s not sure making out with a hot guy in a marble bathroom at midnight while all his friends are waiting for him is the best way to spend New Year’s Eve. But Even’s eyes are _so blue_ and his lips are _so full._ And he wants to kiss a boy -- _this_ boy -- _so bad,_ even if he risks spending his whole entire next day drowning in self-loathing and shame. Even if this guy turns out to be an absolute _dick_ just trying to use him before moving on to the next body.

“I have to go,” Isak says.

“Is it because of-,” Even pauses with sad eyes to gesture to his own head, as if to ask if it’s about him being bipolar, and Isak quickly denies. Because _no,_ he doesn’t want him thinking that it’s because of that. No never.

“I’m just scared,” he admits with a defeated sigh and he can hear all of his weaknesses and insecurities soar inside his heart. _I’m just scared of getting hurt._

For the third time tonight, Isak walks away.

.

Isak doesn’t know why he doesn’t trust anyone enough to just let them in. Perhaps, it’s because he’s done this to girls before, toy with their hearts and their minds and their bodies, only to dump them later. Or perhaps, it’s the fact that his dad left them. He just had abandonment issues, alright. So yes, he is ignoring the universe’s wishes right now -- what are the odds of bumping into the same person three times on the same night? -- but at least, he’s not getting hurt.

.

The ride to the next party is quite disastrous. Eva mistakenly orders an Uber Pool instead of a regular Uber, and they can only sneak in two more people because they have to pick up a fourth person. They spend about ten minutes trying to figure it out, but Isak ends up riding in the back with Jonas while Eva claims shotgun and the rest of the group wait behind for another car.

He doesn’t want to be a downer, but he’s almost certain that they won’t make it to their next party for the countdown. No, scratch that. He’s positive they’re starting the new year in an UberPool. _Great._

It’s ironic, really, but Isak doesn’t have anyone to blame but himself. Sure, the promise of fireworks from a private rooftop was enticing. But he kind of wishes he were pressed against some wall and moaning ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’ against a pair of very pronounced collarbones. He kind of wishes he were being ravished by a pair of plump and chapped lips right this second instead of here in this cab with a drunk Jonas and a drunk Eva who don’t seem nearly as disappointed as he is -- probably because they can still kiss each other when the clock hits midnight. _Yeah, they still got each other._

“It’s not that bad,” Eva says and she’s being incredibly loud, Isak isn’t sure how the Uber driver isn’t annoyed.

“Eva, we’re stuck in a fucking UberPool during the fucking countdown!” Isak snaps then feels a bit bad for the driver. “Nothing against UberPools. I’m sorry,” he adds. But the driver just shrugs.

Isak wonders if he’s high because who’s _this_ chill?

“I’ll kiss you if you want,” Eva laughs then Jonas joins her and Isak just wants to open the door and roll into traffic.

“Maybe we’ll pick up someone hot before midnight,” Jonas adds. “You can kiss them!”

“Shut up!” Isak groans. “I don’t want to kiss anyone.”

“Or you can kiss the driver,” Eva adds before turning around to ask. “Can you kiss our friend?”

The driver laughs then shows Eva his ring finger.

“Oh, you’re married!” she pouts. “That won’t do.”

Isak wants to also point out that the driver is male but he’s kind of relieved that no one even cares. The driver didn’t even flinch when he suggested it. He just laughed.

He checks his phone when they’re about to hit a red light, and it’s 23:58. _Amazing._ They’re really spending New Year’s in an UberPool. He can talk about this for months to come, honestly.

Eva isn’t giving up either. She’s just rolled down her window, making all of them wince at the cold air slapping their cheeks, and she’s inviting strangers in the same predicament in the street to kiss Isak. It’s quite a _shitshow,_ really.

“It’s almost 2018! Who wants a midnight kiss?!” she yells out of the window, limbs flailing and laughter punctuating each word.

Isak kind of sinks back down into his chair because he’s not half as drunk as he wishes he were right now. He also doesn’t want to see some disgusted looks from potential homophobes in the street. No _thank you. Here’s what we’re not doing in 2018._

Eva’s clapping and Isak is guessing she’s found a poor bastard to volunteer. He can’t help but look out the glass, his heart racing at the thought of kissing some random stranger out of an  UberPool window. It’s almost romantic and he can’t help but steal a glance at whoever the universe picked out for him. It’s probably a girl, he thinks. Or if it’s a guy, he probably thinks he’s about to kiss Eva.

He only wants to take a peek really, but the driver somehow lowers the window automatically and Isak is left gaping like a deer in headlights, the air cold, cold, cold on his skin.

_Are you fucking kidding me-_

“Even?!”

It all happens in a blink. Some people on the radio are counting down _‘10, 9, 8, ...’_. The driver has a blowout paper horn pressed between his lips. Eva is on her knees on the seat and has turned around to peck Jonas on the mouth.

And Isak-

Well, Isak’s face is cupped between two large hands and he’s being kissed senseless out of an UberPool window at 00:00 on January 1st, 2018.

_Oh._

_Fireworks._

_So this is why people kiss each other at midnight._

Isak’s hands are curled around the rolled down glass and his head is almost entirely out of the window by the time Even’s tongue wanders inside his mouth. It’s hot and it’s wet, and Isak is overwhelmed by the cold on his skin and the fire in his chest. Isak is overwhelmed by the strong hands cupping his jaw and making him part his lips even wider. He whimpers into the damn kiss and nearly loses his balance inside the car when his own hands decide to get lost in Even’s hair, tugging at his locks and eliciting a sweet moan from this stranger the universe won’t let him walk away from.

It’s so _fucking_ romantic that Isak wishes he could just scream at the top of his lungs because he’s never felt this valued by the damn universe. He’s never felt this important. As if the earth spins for him, just him, for everything to fall into place and just give him _this._ A pair of lips to kiss at the loneliest time of the year, soft hair to run his fingers through and pull and tug at, hands, just hands on his face, on his skin that’s felt so unused so neglected for so long, and undeniable devotion to him, just him.

Isak kisses back with everything that he has. And he can feel all the repressed anger and hurt and loneliness melt away in that kiss. Because tonight, _tonight,_ he feels worshipped by the stars. Tonight, He feels kissed by the skies. Tonight, the wind blows for him, just him. The lights are changing for him. Uber’s optimization algorithm is calibrated for him. Eva’s drunken thoughts are all for him. And this boy, this man, this perfect boy kissing him as if he’s never wanted to kiss anyone else this badly in his life, is all for him.

“Fuck!” Even mumbles as soon as their lips part and he looks just as shaken, just as messed up, his lips even puffier than before, his eyes blue and wide, wide, wide.

“That’s not my name,” Isak manages to let out and he almost pats himself on the back because Even looks completely gone.

Isak isn’t sure how or why but he leans in out of the window again and pecks him one more time. And it’s nothing but sweet, but when the universe gives you the world, you’ve got to abide by its rules.

“God!” Even mouths again.

“Still not my name,” Isak laughs then finds himself frowning when some car starts honking behind then. “Oh, piss off! Chill! The fireworks are still going!”

Granted, the light has turned green but all the unfortunate cars in the streets have somehow stopped to celebrate the new year. And it takes Isak a second to realize that the car behind them is another Uber, and that the person honking is actually Magnus sitting in the passenger seat.

But he doesn’t care. Not the slightest. _Fuck it._ Magnus is probably happy for him back there. And if he isn’t, then Isak will make him.

He leans in again, this time less hesitant, and kisses Even with a hand on the back of his neck and a smile on his lips. It’s deep and it’s slow and it’s unhurried. It tastes like sunlight. It tastes like fireworks in the distance. It tastes like magic. And Isak swears Even is smiling against his lips, too. And perhaps this whole has been just that, _magic._

They kiss until the driver actually rolls the window back up, making Jonas and Eva and even Even bark out a laugh.

“Fuck, just let me say bye-” Isak groans.

“We’re literally blocking traffic, Isak,” Jonas laughs beside him.

“Just-” Isak’s panicked rant is interrupted by their driver turning around in his seat and leaning in far enough to reach Isak’s door handle. “What the f-”

“You can say bye to him in the car,” the driver says with a blank face and Isak blinks for a second or two before understanding.

But before he can fully process what’s happening, Even pulls the door open and Isak is forced to scoot over to make room for him.

“What the fuck?” he blinks again.

“Even, right?” says the driver.

“Yup,” Even replies with a grin. “And you’re Edvard?”

“Yeah,” the driver gives him a smile through the rearview mirror.

“Wait? You’re the last guy taking the UberPool?” Eva almost yelps.

“I guess,” Even chuckles before offering her his hand then doing the same with Jonas. “I’m Even, by the way.”

“Nah dude, you’re a fucking legend,” Jonas laughs.

Even grins then turns his attention back to Isak whose confidence seems to have disintegrated. “Hey you,” Even almost whispers with his index finger finding Isak’s chin and lifting it.

“Oh my fucking god,” Isak groans in embarrassment at the realization that he’s just made out with a guy in front of all his friends at midnight.

“Even’s fine,” Even chuckles then winces when Isak shoves him. “Ow!”

“Do you two know each other?” Eva asks carefully while Isak buries his face in Even’s black jacket from embarrassment.

“You could say that,” Even replies, with his arm coming up to curl around Isak’s shoulders. It’s so tender and soft that Isak can’t help but melt even further into him. He smells so nice and kisses so deep and even shields him when he can tell he’s embarrassed. Isak is half in love.

They’re at another red light and Jonas and Eva are talking about some episode of Black Mirror they’ve apparently watched together the previous night. And Isak’s heart doesn’t ache the way it usually does when they’re just being _them,_ Eva and Jonas, Jonas and Eva, with their unbreakable bond and their unspeakable tenderness for one another.

Isak’s heart doesn’t pinch tonight. It doesn’t hurt tonight. He’s not envious of what they have tonight. Because he’s a little bit drunk and a little bit high, but most importantly, because he’s safely tucked in a beautiful boy’s arms tonight. And for some reason, it feels right. Like they’ve done this a million times before. A billion times before. An infinite number of times before. Like it’s just _right._

Isak absently tilts his head upwards, both arms wrapped around Even’s skinny waist beneath his jacket, and he’s sure he’s never felt this warm and safe in his life before.

Their eyes lock through the city lights and Isak knows it in his heart, in his bones: Even won’t hurt him.

So when Even finally gives in and understands that he’s silently asking for a kiss, when he finally captures his lips between his own for a soft and tender peck followed by many, _many_ just as toe-curling ones, Isak closes his eyes and purrs into it.

“Still going to your address?” the driver, Edvard, asks Even with a muffled smile.

Isak looks up with stars in his eyes, mist at the tip of his tongue, and magic at his fingertips. Even's eyes are so soft and tender on his own that it's probing visual caress. Perhaps, Isak is a little more than just half in love. Who knows.

What he's certain of, however, is that he's done taking the universe's hard work for granted.

_home?_

_'home.'_

“I'm going where he's going," Even replies.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it.  
> i wanted to write soft things for the wonderful [Giusy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solosilenzio/pseuds/solosilenzio) and this kind of happened. 
> 
> some shameless fluff to start the year right and to apologize for that NLMLY update (did you catch that Edvard nod wink wink. most chill Uber driver ever. am i right.). my sister is in town for the week so i'm not sure i'll be able to write until the weekend. forgive me. i don't think i'll hit my 01/13 deadline either. sighh.
> 
> thank you for all your kind words these last few days. ily so much thank you for including me in your warm wishes and thoughts going into 2018. happy new year to all of you as well. hope this year is nothing but kind and gentle on your hearts and minds and souls.  
> .  
> as usual leave a comment if you felt something, anything, if it made you smile or laugh or anything at all.  
> PS: 2018 is the 'year of the dick' for this Isak (lol sorry). what is it for you? <33


End file.
